Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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