Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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