Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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