You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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