My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
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Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
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I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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