My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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