Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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