And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize