im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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