I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize