Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize