ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize