i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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