yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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