I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize