I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize