loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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