So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize