Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize