She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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