dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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