Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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