we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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