I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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