Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
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I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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