You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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