using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize