dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize