I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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