Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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