There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize