Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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