Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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