There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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