It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize