The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize