break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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