So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize