Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
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Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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