yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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