How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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