Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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