It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
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He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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