you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize