I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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