I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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