Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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