bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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