all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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