That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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